3rd over: England 8-2 (Trott 3, Bell 2) Trott is beaten by a brute from Peterson that turns appreciably off middle stump. The problem, as Nasser points out on Sky, is that some balls are turning and others aren't. It's close to a spinners' paradise, this, and that's a maiden from Peterson. "One of the cinema scenes which most upsets me – because I'm squeamish – is when they have to break the goalie's arm in Escape to Victory to allow Sylvester Stallone into the team," says James Wrout. "Despite my distaste, surely it's now time for Colly or Luke Wright to take one for the entire country so Eoin Morgan can be flown out as a replacement. But what -less squeam-inducing - injury? Maybe Wright would have a nasty scolding from the hot drinks he's carrying, or Colly could be diagnosed with a late-onset allergy to willow (he's certainly can't hold it for any length of time any more). Any thoughts?" I don't think England should do it, as it's blatantly against the spirit of the game, but it is so frustrating to have their best player at home watching Alex Jones and Steve Jones on BBC1 when he should be demonstrating his genius. It's a balls up that might come to be seen as indicative of a fuzzy-headed campaign. England look tired, almost as tired as Billy Bob in A Simple Plan. It's hard to be too critical of them.
2nd over: England 8-2 (Trott 3, Bell 2) So we don't get to see Steyn v Pietersen, which was one of the highlights of the World Twenty20, when Pietersen belaboured 23 from 8 balls. Instead Steyn has Trott in his sights. There is a bit of swing for Steyn, and Trott gets off the mark with a nice drive for two. "Looking forward to the OBO on Pietersen's hernia op," says Ian Copestake. "Should be a thriller." I wouldn't mind an expletive-by-expletive report of the England dressing room right now.
1st over: England 3-2 (Trott 0, Bell 0) Nasser Hussain says that Andrew Strauss "played a Bangalore shot". That pitch was a belter, but this is an old-fashioned Indian slow turner. "Ah," says Jonah Gadsby. "You're there. I've been here five hours now, waiting for this match to start." I would suggest going to bed.
WICKET! England 3-2 (Pietersen c Kallis b Peterson 2) Pietersen has gone as well! This is an astonishing start. Pietersen pushed forward at the last ball of Peterson's first over, which turned enough to take the edge on its way to Kallis at slip. Madon, what a start. South Africa are going mental. That was a nice catch, right by his left boot, and yet another left-arm spinner has dismissed Pietersen. They are his Kryptonite. I'm not sure who got Pietersen out there: Peterson or Pietersen. That was a nothing shot.
WICKET! England 1-1 (Strauss c de Villiers b Peterson 0) I don't believe it. For the second time in the tournament, South Africa open the bowling with a spinner and strike in the first over. Andrew Strauss came down the track to Robin Peterson and tried to drive him over mid on, but it turned a bit and he dragged the shot to deep midwicket, where AB de Villiers took an excellent tumbling catch. Johan Botha got Chris Gayle in the West Indies match and now Strauss has fallen to Peterson. That is a massive blow for England.
So what's a good score? After the Ireland game, England will probably want 700 to feel comfortable, or at least quietly confident.
"Morning Rob," says Andy Bull. "It is hot here in Chennai. Outrageously hot. So hot, as Ricky Roma put it, that grown men were walking up to cops on street corners begging them to shoot them. Not in our air-conditioned press box though, obviously. Bopara in for Collingwood, they say. Colly out doing throwdowns for KP, like the true team man he is."
Andrew Strauss said that the decision is partly down to form and partly down to injury, which was unusually woolly for him. Still, at least he didn't say it was by mutual consent.
England have won the toss and will bat first. That's a bit of a surprise. As is the inclusion of Ravi Bopara ahead of Paul Collingwood. That's England's only change; South Africa are unchanged. They look ominously comfortable in their own skin just now.
England Strauss (c), Pietersen, Trott, Bell, Prior (wk), Bopara, Yardy, Bresnan, Swann, Broad, Anderson.
South Africa Smith (c), Amla, Kallis, de Villiers, Duminy, du Plessis, van Wyk (wk), Peterson, Morkel, Steyn, Tahir.
When we think of England v South Africa at the World Cup, we inevitably think of 1992: 21 off one ball and that ostentatious England supporter with the fag on. Yet since then England have been the subject of three vicious beatings, each more emphatic than the last. Don't rule out another one today.
So, let's try that one again. England will certainly want to. They've had such a downright weird start to this tournament that they probably want to scrub the tape and start afresh. In a sense, they can: they just have to win six games in a row to win the tournament. Which is not unlike last year's World Twenty20 when, after a dodgy start, they won five in a row in increasingly emphatic style.
Actually, England don't necessarily need to win this match to qualify. Their three remaining group games are against South Africa, Bangladesh and West Indies; and, while they need to win all three to guarantee qualification, they could go through with just one win. It's all a little confusing, so it's bet to forget the permutations and start playing like cornered lions.
He made a useful 30 not out against Holland in the opening match of the World Cup but was dismissed fifth ball against India and struggled to 16 in the match with Ireland as his patchy form continued. His medium pace off cutters have been expensive too and England have decided to act with their World Cup future on the line. 
